*GEMS 'Genuine Encounter Moments'
A child's self-esteem is greatly influenced by the quality of time not the amount of time spent. This day and age with our busy schedules parents often don?t put 100% focused attention on what their child is saying, by pretending to listen or ignoring the child's attempts to communicate with us. If you don't give children GEMS throughout the day, they will often start to misbehave. Negative attention in a child's mind is better than being ignored.
*Give Children Appropriate Ways to Feel Powerful
If you don't, they will find inappropriate ways to feel their power. Ways to help them feel powerful and valuable are to ask their advice, give them choices, let them help you balance your check book, cook all our part of a meal, or help you shop. A two-year-old can wash plastic dishes, wash vegetables, or put silverware away. Often we do the job for them because we can do it with less hassle, but the result is they feel unimportant.
*Withdraw from Conflict
If your child is testing you through a temper tantrum, or being angry or speaking disrespectfully to you, it is best if you leave the room or tell the child you will be in the next room if he wants to "Try again." Do not leave in anger or defeat.
*Separate the Deed from the Doer
Never tell a child that they are bad. This will tear his/her self-esteem. Help your child recognize that it isn't them that you don?t like, but it is the behavior that you are unwilling to tolerate. In order for a child to have healthy self-esteem, he/she must know that he is loved unconditionally no matter what he does. Do not motivate your child by withdrawing your love from him. When in doubt, ask yourself, did my discipline build my child's self-esteem?
*Be Consistent, Follow Through
If you have made an agreement with your child for example, that they must go to bed at a specific time, do not give in to pleas, tears, demands or pouting. Your child will learn to respect you more if you mean what you say.
Source - www.PositiveParenting.com
A child's self-esteem is greatly influenced by the quality of time not the amount of time spent. This day and age with our busy schedules parents often don?t put 100% focused attention on what their child is saying, by pretending to listen or ignoring the child's attempts to communicate with us. If you don't give children GEMS throughout the day, they will often start to misbehave. Negative attention in a child's mind is better than being ignored.
*Give Children Appropriate Ways to Feel Powerful
If you don't, they will find inappropriate ways to feel their power. Ways to help them feel powerful and valuable are to ask their advice, give them choices, let them help you balance your check book, cook all our part of a meal, or help you shop. A two-year-old can wash plastic dishes, wash vegetables, or put silverware away. Often we do the job for them because we can do it with less hassle, but the result is they feel unimportant.
*Withdraw from Conflict
If your child is testing you through a temper tantrum, or being angry or speaking disrespectfully to you, it is best if you leave the room or tell the child you will be in the next room if he wants to "Try again." Do not leave in anger or defeat.
*Separate the Deed from the Doer
Never tell a child that they are bad. This will tear his/her self-esteem. Help your child recognize that it isn't them that you don?t like, but it is the behavior that you are unwilling to tolerate. In order for a child to have healthy self-esteem, he/she must know that he is loved unconditionally no matter what he does. Do not motivate your child by withdrawing your love from him. When in doubt, ask yourself, did my discipline build my child's self-esteem?
*Be Consistent, Follow Through
If you have made an agreement with your child for example, that they must go to bed at a specific time, do not give in to pleas, tears, demands or pouting. Your child will learn to respect you more if you mean what you say.
Source - www.PositiveParenting.com
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